User blog:SkyrimsShillelagh/Villain Support Group

“We have a new member in the group today!” Deaphanie said, as patient and calm as always. “Let’s all say hello to Daniel.”

“Hi, Daniel.” The group said in monotone chorus.

The ancient, desiccated lump of flesh that lacked any working limbs sagged in its seat. Dead, yellow eyes stared off into nothingness.

“Uh, the fuck’s wrong with him?” Casamir demanded.

“Daniel’s existence was difficult. He was brilliant man, but misguided in his desires. He attempted to escape me but, as with all things, was unable to.” Deaphanie explained.

Casamir looked at Daniel with a mix of interest and disgust for a few moments longer, before looking to Deaphanie. “Don’t suppose you got something interesting for us today?” He asked. None of them were here by choice.

“I do! Today we have a guest speaker. I’d like to present Ms. Shrike.”

Deaphanie directed their attention to the front of community church, where Shrike was entering. She made her way around the pews, up to where the assembled group was sitting in a circle.

“Can we give a big hello to Shrike?”

“Hello, Shrike.” The group chorused again.

“Fuck you…” Casamir coughed under the drone of greetings.

She was petite, with a few locks of her hair dyed red and she let them fall over her face, obscuring a large burn scar.

“Shrike is able to meet with us today on account of her frequent near death experiences and childhood trauma. Let’s give her a big round of applause.”

No one clapped at first. Then only one person, as Kheiro put his hands together, the sound of it slow and mocking. His eyes curled up as he smirked at Shrike from behind his mask. The hitwoman looked back at him impassively

“This is a treasure.” He drawled, the beginning of a monologue, but Mother Chao-Xing overrode.

“That’s enough out of you boy.” She chided in a soft voice. “A fortnight ago we listened to spew your prophecies, and a week after that we were subjected to the ingrate’s rants."  She lifted a daintly finger at Hades.

“THERE IS BUT ONE LAWGIVER AND JUDGE!” Hades screamed at Mother Chao-Xing. The mutant abomination barely fit in his folding chair with all his extra organs and limbs. A puddle of gore was steadily collecting at his feet as his flayed body dripped. “'''THE ONE WHO IS ABLE TO SAVE AND DESTROY. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE YOUR NEIGHBOR!?'''”

“Ah shit, you magnanimous bitch, you’ve set him off now.” Casamir complained.

Mr. Sunshine grinned around as the bickering started up. Kheiro folded his arms and sat back, equally amused. The Governor dropped his head into his hands.

“Please, settle down, settle down.” Deaphanie implored. “There is time for discussion later. This is a safe space, you all have a voice, but its Shrike’s turn to speak.” She lifted a hand at Shrike. “Please, if you would.”

The hitwoman appeared indifferent to everything before her, but spoke up all the same. “I am Shrike.” She told them, as if they didn’t already know. “And I’m here to tell you something you that I’m going to finish your work. The ones who… took everything from you. Soon they’ll get their due. Governor, Mother--I already killed Rook.”

The Thongzi leader gave a polite double clap. The Governor scoffed, having no patience for this.

“It won’t end there. Josey Wales, Tanner Collins, Harriot Walker, Willian Van De Poorter.” Casamir and Kheiro nodded in turn, one after the other.

“Heya, sport!” A voice called from the side of the room. The smiling caricature that was Clive’s face glowed on a fifteen by fifteen rollaway box TV set. “Listen! I need you to do me a big favor! That piece you’ve got? Hook up into the Lucky 38!” Shrike said nothing. “I’m begging ya, I can’t stand this place. You got to get me out of her, friend0. C’mon!”

“I would not waste your breath, machine.” Kheiro drawled, inspecting his finger nails. “Our time has ended. It is a new world now. A new dawn. One from which the world will emerge changed.”

Casamir groaned. “Lord spare me…”

“The Prophecy has been fulfilled. The time of Legends is upon us. Regardless of Shrike’s victory, mine has already been assured. I am, after all…” He smiled behind his mask, “an inevitability.”

“Shut up.” The Copper Toe ordered him. “Just shut up. That mask doesn’t fucking do enough.”

“I’m going now.” Shrike said. “I don’t think I’ll be back.”

“You will.” Deaphanie promised.

As she turned away Clive called out to her. “Remember the Lucky 38! I’ll help you! Be your friend, your pal! Kill them for you! Nuclear strike, plague, lightning storm? You got it! Just hook me up. Please!”

Shrike’s back retreated without her saying a word.

“Thank god…” Casamir breathed out, triggering Hades.

“'''GOD DID NOT SEND HIS SON INTO THE WORLD TO CONDEMN THE WORLD, BUT TO SAVE IT THROUGH HIM! BROTHERS AND SISTERS…'''” The ranting continued.

Casamir made like the Governor and dropped his head into his hands. “This is hell.”

Deaphanie smiled enigmatically.

Shrike passed through the entrance of the church. Upon its door was a paper that read:

Villain support group!

From now until:

Eternity.

She exited quietly.