Board Thread:Roleplaying/@comment-5543592-20190505235456/@comment-5583506-20190607154112

As soon as she was sure that Tanner had left the room and was outside of hearing, she let out a frustrated groan and clutched her hands over her head. She wanted to cry. She didn't know what she was trying to get at. Maybe all the confusion would just go away if she got some sleep? Maybe she was just exhausted and confused from all the recent events? Yeah, that was probably it.

Then why was it that she felt so unfocused just being around Tanner? It was an uncomfortable feeling, as she normally would have her mind set straight and focused on something she wanted to accomplish. She found it hard to do so in his presence. And yet she didn't want to leave his side.

''It couldn't be... ''She felt flustered as she came to realization as to what was going on. In a way she had always known. Maybe from the first time they had met, but now that it truly dawned on her that she had indeed fallen in love with him, she didn't know what to do.

She felt powerless and weak, and not due to the wound she had suffered, but as to what she would do with these feelings. The more she thought about it, the more unbearable it became. She felt the desperate need to act on them, to tell him, but that was what scared her the most.

Tanner was married. Period. He had a wife and child. Pan, she remembered, the woman he had met at the World's Fair. Also, they were friends. If she told him how she felt now, it would surely drive him away from her and they would never be able to interact with one another again. And then there was her condition. Though she definitely didn't think that Tanner was a superficial man, she couldn't imagine him being able to completely ignore her handicap. She was completely blind. Only reasons she was able to see or even interact was due to a pair of synthetic lenses wired to the optical nerve.

She felt how her eyes began to water. ''Tears? ''she reflected. Most likely. Her internal struggle with her emotions felt like having her entire rib cage made out of concrete: a burden to carry around.

"Calm down", she told herself quietly, breathing slowly but heavily.

It wasn't such a big deal, was it? People fell in love with people they would never be able to attract all the time. That was the sad truth of it. Tanner most likely didn't think of her as nothing else but a friend. And if she told him, she would ruin that sacred bond they shared.

She guessed that the moment she had encountered him again after all those years of only hearing about his accomplishments after the events of the World's Fair had kickstarted those strange childish emotions she had developed for him back then.

She felt even more inclined to cry and didn't even care about the wound anymore. She didn't want to think as the more she reflected upon the matter the more it hurt. At this point she just wanted to drift away into sleep so that she wouldn't have to think. Knowing he would soon be back for her did spark a small enthusiasm in her heart, but she wasn't sure for just how much longer she would be able to keep this up.

She took a deep breath and tried to steady herself, ignore everything for the time being. He would soon be back.